To Live Life Again Winter Cicada
by CrisNoWait
Summary: Kusaka discovers he has another chance to live again with the man he loves. Shonen-ai; Male x Male


**Title:** To Live Life Again:  
**Author:** CrisNoWait  
**Rating:** 18+ _Mild Angst, Romance, Shounen-ai  
_**Fandom:** Winter Cicada  
**Pairing:** Akizuki / Kusaka

**Summary:** _Kusaka discovers he has another chance to live again with the man he loves._

**A.N.** This is a contest fiction from my other site, XD it won first place, I hope you enjoy. Thanks for reading =)  
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Kusaka inhaled the cold air surrounding his and Aki's face, a dull crunch in the snow interrupted his thoughts. The hope; a dream they shared of a time of peace between the Chōshū and Shogun clans. He gazes at the bluish tinge shadowing his lover's face. A soft smile creased his lips as if finally Akizuki had found peace.

'_You finally are content Akizuki-sama,'_ he gaze at the suicide note still gripped in his hand. The imperial soldier had run from the private cottage, where he had housed the Bakufu after discovering the letter. Nevertheless, he had arrived too late to stop Akizuki. A similar smile lights his lips; with unshed tears freezing on his lashes, he lifted the tanto from his lovers hand and welcomes the next journey, down his lover's path. Kusaka coughed lightly and winced at the sharp edge of pain rippling in his gut.

'_Soon my love, we will be together again. I will sleep forever at your side,'_ the blonde thought, pressing closer still to his slumbering friend.

"No!" A man shouted and rapidly ran to the two men partially covered in snow. "Kusaka!" he yelled, pulling the honey-blonde haired male in his arms as he sank to his knees. "Kusaka, please this is not how it was supposed to end! Speak to me!"

Aizawa cradles the still form to his chest, slouched in the crimson snow, his uniform stained red with the blood of his comrade. _'What have I done?'_

The chill air whistles through the naked trees, with a distant howl it responds to the imperial officer. A tight stitch pinched inside his chest, heat rising in his throat, he screams to the heavens. Bitter with remorse, hot tears fill his eyes but refuse to fall in the cold, he cursed fate.

Kusaka opened his eyes, surprised by the warm embrace, for one moment he thought his lover had somehow survived. He grit his teeth, a deeper cold carved its way to the very core of his body. Kusaka took a shuddering breath, as the pain subsided, and he realized he could no longer feel his limbs. Light brown eyes gaze slowly at the top of a dark head, a man sobbing on his shoulder; his long time friend, even with their differences they had remained close to an extent.

"Aizawa, why?" he whispered softly.

The officer froze lifting an anguished filled face, "Why did you do this?"

Kusaka did not understand, Aizawa knew of his and Akizuki's relationship, they had argued bitterly a few days ago. The senior officer had all but admitted outright that he knew he was hiding the Bakufu and would work to discover his whereabouts.

Earlier, a few hours ago, Aizawa had once again confronted Kusaka, claiming that during a routine search of the area, he met a samurai in a cottage near the blonde's home. The samurai had remained silent the entire time, refusing to answer any questions. It was apparent to the officer that the one leg soldier was receiving assistance from someone. Aizawa had gloated to the samurai that his benefactor would face the full weight of the law once he determined their identity. He then casually informed Kusaka that he left the former soldier a tanto suggesting that perhaps the Bakufu should seek an honorable death in light of his circumstances.

With that revelation Kusaka lost his temper, he attacked Aizawa in a blind rage, and then quickly dashed out to find Akizuki before it was too late.

Now Kusaka, vision fading, stared at the man who had brought this dark fate upon them, but he could not blame Aizawa alone. He knew most of the culpability rest with him; does his friend feel responsible?

"Aizawa, do not blame yourself; in the end it is what Akizuki desired most, I was too selfish to let him go."

The raven shook his head; drawing an icy breath a plume of white circled his mouth as he spoke. "No Kusaka, this cannot be, I need you to live." He held the blonde tighter in his embrace.

"It's already too late, you know this." Kusaka tried to comfort his friend the best he could. "Aizawa we have been good friends for a long time. Only now can I admit my bond with this man Akizuki Keiichirou." He drew shallow breath, and coughed again a pain look on his pale face; blood coated the inside of his mouth. "Do not suffer my friend; I do not hold you at fault."

"No!" The officer gazed watery eyes up at the barren trees, snow swirling around his face, he grit his teeth. "Why do you think he is here?" He fumed to the white sky. The man in his arms remained silent, breathing thinly.

"I'll tell you why," Aizawa said slowly, peering back into Kusaka's pale visage. "I killed him."

Kusaka tilted his head in denial; he could not allow Aizawa to accept blame, even if he did leave the tanto with Aki. His voice slurred thickly, as he speaks to the dark hair Chōshū.

"No Aizawa-san, you…"

"Hear me Kusaka." The officer interrupted seeing as time was running out; he needed to confess to his long time friend. "Why couldn't it be me?" He asked solemnly, looking once again at the remains of Keiichirou.

"I...i don't understand, Aizawa-san."

"The Bakufu did not kill himself; you are two of a kind. He's as selfish as you." He gaze back into Kusaka's bright eyes, the color had fade significantly. "I threatened him; I told him you would be arrested immediately if he did not do the honorable thing. He wrote the letter, and then had a change of heart." He grimaced bitterly at the thought, of Akizuki telling him on his life he would defend Kusaka's honor, even if they went to the gallows together he would not abandon the man he loves, in such a way. The act of taking his life without Kusaka by his side was unbearable. Aizawa continued his words broken as he clipped out the last of what had happen between him and Akizuki.

"That man, refuse!" He spat at the idea of someone from the Shogun actually denying an order. "Who does he think he is?" He shot another dark look at the snow-covered form; gripping Kusaka tighter as the man attempted to pull away.

Aizawa sneered down at Kusaka his eyes bulging. "I brought the Bakufu here, and still he refused to have an honorable ending." The officer clenched his teeth seething, madness cloaking his dark features as he continueed to rant at Kusaka. "The coward thought he could defy me!"

Hearing Aizawa insult, his lover ignited the Chōshū's temper. He choked as he gasped for breath, "Akizuki Keiichirou is not a coward! He is an honorable Shogunate do not insult his memory! You know nothing about him!"

Aizawa pulled the blonde's face toward him, until they were mere inches apart. "I love you, Kusaka! I have always been there for you! Weren't we the ones to carry our clan to victory?" Frost covered eyes erupt with tears dripping down on Kusaka's colorless face. "Don't you see? Akizuki was not worthy of you! He couldn't do what is honorable; what is RIGHT!" He ranted on through his tear and snow dusted face, "I plunged the tanto in his gut until he gasp his last breath!"

Kusaka blinked in disbelief; Kusaka had taken his own life believing that Aki had indeed killed himself, now Aizawa confess to have murdered his lover. The emptiness inside his heart spilled from his lips, he had no other strength left.

"I love only Akizuki." He smiled, saying the man's name with his last breath. As darkness swallowed him, he could still hear Aizawa curse him and his lover. Kusaka smiled understanding at last why a smile crest Akizuki's lips_, 'He thought of me with his last breath, with all his being, I am the one he wanted at his side and he knew I would join him.'_

"NO! Kusaka!"

---

"Akizuki…"

The Bakufu turned around from his desk, and gently adjusted the lantern flame down until a tiny stream of smoke rose from the extinguished wick. On the other side of the room, a canopy bed dominates the upper floor bungalow and since Kusaka became ill, he chose to work close to his lover. Akizuki approached the bed and carefully raised the white curtain.

"Aki…" the restless man breathed.

"Yes, Kusaka, how are you feeling?" He asked pouring a glass of water for his friend and supporting his head as he sips.

Kusaka blinked his mouth moving soundlessly as the man before him emerged from the shadows of his feverish vision. "You…and I are…," he gasped sitting up quickly despite Aki's attempts to slow his progress.

The samurai pressed a hand to his lover's chest; he shuddered at the speed of the man's racing heart. "Please rest until your strength returns."

The Chōshū would not take no for an answer, he grip Akizuki's wrist pulling the man down in a rib cracking embrace. "AKI-SAN!" he sobs and laughs kissing every inch of the pristine skin. "Oh I'm so happy you're not dead!"

His lover could but only smile and receive the affection Kusaka lavished on him. Finally, as the man calmed somewhat Aki eased on the bed next to him wrapping Kusaka in his arms allowing his midnight colored kimono to spread open and reveal his flawless sculpted chest.

"Please tell me what nightmares have haunted you during your fever." Akizuki whispered softly, stroking his most precious person contentedly.

Kusaka lift his head gazing across the room, tall multi-pane double doors open onto a wide balcony. A rain scented breeze crept into the room; the white curtains flutter against the dark background of night. Vague images of his travel to London in the belly of a larger ship flittered to the forefront of his memory.

"I became very ill after we arrived."

"Yes, do you remember, I had some trouble getting us here to this cottage, but all is well now."

Kusaka shook his head, "It is all coming back to me now we cut ties with our clan to live here in the west." He looks to the man at his side and wrapped his arms around Aki's chest caressing him. "My dreams trouble me greatly, I believe it is how things would have been if we did not escape our dark paths."

"Can you share with me my love?"

"I dreamed we fought in a great war and the Imperial army prevailed. You were terribly injured but I rescued you from the battle field, even when you begged for death with your men." Almond color eyes filled with tears, he leaned heavily on Aki. "For a time you lived under my protection, however you were unhappy with how your men suffered in prison while I kept you as comfortable as I could. Foolishly, I believed I could help you remember the man you were and if I love you enough you would see the good in our life together. You seemed to have come out of your sadness, we made plans for the future, unfortunately, a friend betrayed me; taking your life, only he made me believe you had done the deed yourself. I didn't hesitate to follow you; I needed to go where you were."

Akizuki pressed his lips against Kusaka's bright hair. He could sense there was more his lover had not revealed, but with each word the blonde's voice had grown thin with despair, he did not want to press him to relive the dream, but he was curious about Kusaka's heart. "Are you having regrets now? It is not too late…"

Kusaka sat up glaring into his lover's eyes; "No! We are free now!" he gasped slashing his mouth over the other male. "It has all been a horrible dream, I have no regrets anymore." He breathed into their kiss, stroking Aki's face and gazing directly into his endless blue eyes. "Akizuki, if I had my life to live again. I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner, I love you."

The samurai curled his fingers in the golden shoulder length hair, pushing his smaller lover back against the bed as he mapped out Kusaka's mouth. "I know my love; I was so worried." He lifted his head kissing Kusaka's teary eyes, as he removed his Kimono, the only clothing between their bodies. "Now let me show you how deeply I care for you my love."

Kusaka arched into Akizuki's lips as the man moved painfully slow down his body. He spread his legs welcoming his lover between them and moans at the soft nips on his nipples.

'_A horrible dream created those terrible images.'_ Even in his current position, Kusaka found it shocking that they both had escaped the war and the pressures of their clans. The dream at last would be a reality.

"Ahhhh…Aki-sannn…" he gasps clasping a hand over his mouth.

The Bakufu kiss the Kusaka's uncut length, carefully sucking the sensitive head while working a wetted finger into his anus. "Do not be ashamed, this is our home, let me hear you my love."

Beyond the bungalow, a rumble above marks the beginning of a thunderstorm. Dark clouds shroud the moon as heavy winds bend high willow branches, sending the mint color leaves dancing in the swirling breeze. The leaves jumble with toppled green pinecones, brown tree nuts and the pastel spring flowers that had strip from their stems. Silver droplets glistens on the fragrant potpourri floating in the electric atmosphere.

The curtains billows as the storm pelted the cottage and lush garden with torrential rains. In their throws of lovemaking neither paused for the pebbled raindrops on the slate roof, nor the cool mist that swept through the open balcony doors. A flash of lightening sparkles on heated skin as they shift, rolling over in each other's embrace. Kusaka's mellow voice cracks as he calls his lover's name. A soft reply whispers devotion and love before their mouths melt together passionately.

Akizuki rocked his hips deeply seated inside his lovers recess; the man beneath him writhed rolling his waist to meet each of his lover's thrust. A tangle of white sheets wrapped around their shifting legs, one set pale the other golden. Sweat streaked down Akizuki's back with Kusaka's fingers raking up over his muscular shoulders, and caressing his neck until they dived in Aki's dark hair.

"Ahhh…Sakaaa..."

"Aki…haa…"

Blue-white lightening cast two oversize silhouettes of the lovers' on the ceiling and wall. They both froze in climatic spasms as they wail their release and collapse into each other arms.

Akizuki kiss the full lips beneath him still intimately joined to his lover. The storm had subsided; with just light drizzle softly falling, and a gentle rain scented breeze lifting the damp curtains.

"Aki-san?"

"Yes Saka-san."

"What if this, this here is all a dream and what I…"

The samurai kissed his lover deeply silencing him before he could finish. "Kusaka, if that be the case, never wake me," he whispered softly.

"Yes, I want to live this life with you too."

~End~

_A.N. Oh the love~~~~^,^~~~~I wanted to point out that along with a particular pairing I also had to use prop prompts, as well as "quote" prompts. The only word prompt used was **"...if I had my life to live again. I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.." **The props were, curtains blowing, white curtains, a storm. I like the way it turned out. Thanks for reading._


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